I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
