meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
