im drinking this country out of the recession.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
