that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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