"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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