Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize