Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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