Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
