Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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