What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I look better un-naked...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
