i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize