I hope mine doesn't look like that
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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