Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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