was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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