So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
third nipple confirmed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
