I'm jealous of your bromance
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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