everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
