Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
