Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
