sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
