You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
