Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
