I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
should my penis look like a turkey
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
