just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize