Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The power of my boobs compel you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
