She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
