Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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