Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
