"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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