is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
