I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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