Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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