he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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