But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
