it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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