Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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