I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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