I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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