Say something about gay babies.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
