Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize