Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
