Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize