You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
