I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We don't watch enough power rangers
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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