This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
