I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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