At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
