I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
