OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I love you. Go after that dick
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
