how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
