i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it's great music for shaving your balls
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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