i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
