It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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