every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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