i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
