nutella sex= disaster
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He? As in you personified your dick?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
