"it" just moved
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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