One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize