Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
