Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
