the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
