I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize