If i come over, it means nothing
You just made me feel so damn special
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
