Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
