Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
